Love without Strings (by Graham Cooke)

Sometimes, when we think we love someone, actually what we love most is what he or she gives us. If for any reason that changes, then our relationship could be adjusted to reflect our disappointment or even bewilderment. We are always changed by our experiences of being loved. What makes us mature in loving is when we see our contribution to others as the bigger part of love. We love because we want to be an expression of who Jesus is for us. We love without strings or thought of reward.

Love gives permission to change and support the process. It does not wait on the sidelines until change is complete before it rejoins the relationship. Love is a willingness to share the journey and be part of the story. Life can be a comedy, a tragedy, usually a drama, always an adventure, and unfortunately, occasionally a soap opera. Real love always plays a leading role never a bit part.

We want excitement, not boring predictability, yet we often fail to understand that real love is mostly about how we overcome circumstances, not how we avoid them. Life is unforeseen, unpredictable, and made up of pleasure and pain. To navigate the twists and turns of our journey without using love as a compass and guide, means we will neither discover nor become the relational equivalent of True North. This is the most genuinely true alignment that can exist in the harmony between people.

Love does not accept a negative. It will challenge fear in an appropriate manner. Love stands up for love. The evidence of our lack of love is that we are afraid to be hurt or rejected. That can mean that we relate to people in the present so as to prevent ourselves from being hurt, as we once were in the past. That is dysfunctional and sad. We are governed by a present/past mindset that is protective in a completely wrong way. Perfect love casts out fear. The antidote to fear is to fully understand the power of love.

Love is not about opening yourself up to another. It is choosing to be your real self no matter what occurs. Love is about how we love, not who loves us. “I am what I love, not what loves me.” This has become one of the most powerful identity statements that I have ever made. It has produced a freedom that has revolutionized my relationships. Real love cannot be rejected, because it never seeks a return. Love is not an investment. It is the right thing to do. It is a part of our righteousness. That is, it is not just about doing the right thing, but more about being the right person. Be true to yourself and love others.

When the relationship of one person to another becomes toxic, love is still possible even if trust is negotiable. In real love, we always believe the best of someone. If their pattern of behavior does not change, eventually the lack of trust will bring us to a crossroads. It is no longer possible to believe the best, but we can believe that they have the potential to become better. Love relates to people’s potential rather than their actual nature.

Love overcomes our own hurts and wounds. How do we love someone when love is not returned? In exactly the same way as if it were! We love for the joy of loving. Love means that we don’t have to “fix” people. We simply resource them with how we see them, think about them, and value them. Doing something for someone else without the need for recognition or gratitude will benefit the giver as much as it will the recipient. Love expressed, increases.

Love does not control another’s destiny nor stifle their identity. We are learning to love openly and generously. Love that is founded on dependency can become toxic. We can suffocate people with our expectations and demands. We can over-protect like a security blanket that smothers people and allows them no freedom to discover life. Love releases people. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. It is not our responsibility to change people but to give love freely and without strings. We earn the right to give advice. Loving-kindness opens up the door of trust.

We are accepted in the Beloved. The Father has put us into the place of His truest love and utmost affection. He put us into Jesus. He loves us exactly as He loves Jesus, even though we are at this time very different in lots of ways. We are learning to be made in His image. In the process of learning, we are loved as though we have made it! Being in Christ is a paradox. We are in Jesus with all the benefits of being like Him while we are learning to become as He is.

With true love, the process is as good as the end result! God gives love not by measure, but in fullness. Therefore, if we are worthy of love to begin the process, the same love that empowered us to start will compel us to finish. There are no degrees in the love of Heaven. Love is love, God is love, and so are we.

God as my source.

This year has been one of those interesting and challenging years in the area of money and the source from where my needs are met. 

Throughout the years, I have worked in long term contract or permanent full-time employment, always being able to pay for things in one go, go to any concert I wanted, ability to save, go on shopping sprees, buy the latest fashions, money being availble and always on hand for anything, always having enough to do what I wanted and when I wanted to do it.   Most of the time, I really enjoyed saving the money for that large purchase I was able pay in one go and feeling a sense of accomplishment in this.  I also loved watching the interest of my mortgage decrease as  I made extra payments and the ability to just save and watch it grow and have that safety net for when that rainy day came.  Well, that rainy day did come and for a lot longer than I anticipated.  So far, it has been 17 months.

Over this time, I have worked in short term contracts and temporary job assignments.  I had more time out of work than in work.  This took me on a new journey and level of trust in God, that I thought I already had.    I thought my trust was in the Lord, but my trust was in the savings in my bank account.  As started to see this money decrease, I needed to make a decision of whether I was going to be anxious about this or choose to trust God to meet my needs. 

At the start of this year, I prayed a prayer that only the brave should pray.  My prayer went something like this:
'Lord, increase my level of trust in You so that I may know you more and bring me to a place where I am totally dependant on You.' 

If you don't think He answers prayer, try this one out and I guarantee He will answer it.   I came to a cross road in my life where I needed Him to be so real to me and everything else just didn't satisfy me anymore.  I knew I needed to reach a new level in Him (a deeper level).   I knew that this prayer would cost me. I didn't realise the full impact until later this year, but I am learning fast now. LOL 

One of the major lessons I am learning is that my focus needed to change to see God as  my only source who could meet my every need in life, not my employment whether it be current or future, nor my fortnightly Centrelink (government) allowance or the money I saved in the bank for a rainy day.   I started to see that these provisions were only temporal, they had limitations as my savings was depleting and a job could be taken from me at any time.  God's resources were so much more varied and unlimited and I only had  the Lord to hold onto.  My dependance on Him was and is becoming greater.

It's interesting, although I am still on this journey (and this I am sure will be a continual process), the Lord is showing me that He knows what all my needs are and will not leave me with nothing, even though sometimes it seems like I am living so close to the edge of this.  He is showing me and opening my eyes to the blessings of every day and His provision that's available through His many different ways and avenues.

Through this time, He is challenging me to continue to tithe out of obedience and give in other areas while I have this large financial need in my life.   His desire is to bless me more than I desire to be blessed.   I know I can't afford not to tithe, because it's better to obey and trust than depend on my own means and ways of doing things.

As the bills come in, this is where I am challenged the most, but God has provided work when required.  During this season, I haven't always been able to buy or pay off most things in one go as before and I have had to go without some expenses, which I found I haven't really needed to purchase afterall and at times God has provided this need in other ways.  When I start to get anxious, I am constantly reminding myself and putting into perspective that He is trustworthy and faithful.  He sticks to His promises and promised in His word that He will supply all my needs according to his riches in glory and He has done that so far and I know there is so much more to come. 

So far,  I have had two interstate holidays in Adelaide and Queensland.    I have attended three major conferences (Graham Cooke and James Goll, Dan McCallum and Brenton Brown and a international CRC conference in Adelaide).  I have been to a Guy Sebastian concert.   I have all my survival needs met: food on the table, a roof over my head, all my utility bills paid before the due date, clothes on my back, petrol in the car as well as a vehicle to go places and  family and friends who love me and all the talents, gifts and abilities He has created within me plus much more.  The most important for me is having the Lord in my life, who is continually directing and guiding me, because without Him I don't know where I would be.

I have noticed that when I am working in any organisation, I am not tied to the job or position anymore or the management in charge of me.  My focus is becoming more on the Lord.  He is in charge of my needs and is teaching me to relax (learning not to be anxious about how long the contract will go), and there is favour with the Lord while trusting in Him with all present and future needs and finances or resources become available when I need it. This, of course, is a process and it's a journey but God has never let me down, when I do my part and that's trust and obey.

For example, when I came back from Adelaide in October this year, I had electricity, gas, water, telephone, rates and my mortgage all come in at once.  I had spent more money in Adelaide than budgeted, I didn't have a lot of money left and the only income was through Centrelink (Australian Government allowance).  God knew I needed assistance and supplied me with part-time work for six weeks.  I have paid all the bills before their due date and paid half of those bills that are not yet due.

God has made a promise to take care of me and all I need is to trust and learn to take care of what He cares about.  He is so true to His promises and because I am learning to trust Him for my needs, and not what work brings in, He is showing me time and time again that He is so faithful.

God is allowing this season in my life to happen, so He can reveal a greater measure of Himself to me and to trust the only One (my Lord) who is faithful and trustworthy.  What He can do for me, He can do for you.  I am a tesimony to this and my testimony continues.

Life is so good... God is so good.  As I look back and review what has happened so far... I am truly BLESSED and I know there are more exciting things to come.

Mallacoota

In February of this year, I visited friends at their B & B in Mallacoota. Time just flew. The weather has been just perfect and I enjoyed just doing absolutely nothing.  I do enough in my everyday life and really enjoyed being looked after and blessed with a bed, great company, meals and even space.

Life is interesting when you go away, it gives one the opportunity to chill and disconnect from the day to day responsibilities of everyday life.

Here are a couple of pictures of Mallacoota (Enjoy!).  I didn't take any photos because I was enjoying myself too much and just didn't think to take any photos, which is so unlike me. :)

I just want to give opportunity once again to thank Sarah and DJ and their family for letting me stay.  I was meant to post this a while ago.  I figure better late than never.  Love you guys. :)

Since then I have visited Cairns QLD in May 2010 and Adelaide in September 2010 and will share of these holidays in near future posts.   I am so blessed!!!