My thoughts on turning 40

In July 2011, I just turned the historical mark of 40.  Yes, 40 years on this earth.  Some years have progressed very quickly, other years just took forever, especially in my teenage years

I remember those times between the ages of 12 through to 17 years of age, I just wanted to grow up so quickly, but it took forever to do it.  I wanted everything instantly, I wanted certain things to happen yesterday. 

My desire for family and marriage started very early in life... with children... oh about 10.  I would cut out pictures of models from pamphlets and create a family that was absolutely perfect.  Being a part of a large family had always attracted me at a very early age.  My family only resulted in my parents, my sister and myself and it just didn't seem like enough.

Throughout my 20s, I dreamt of living a very full life but marriage seemed to be the answer to this.  I was so locked into thinking this would solve all my issues.  That perfect man would make it all so wonderful.

I looked forward to my 30 year mark... and felt it was a time for new beginnings and my prayers to find my ultimate soulmate would be answered, that the Lord would surely bless me with a husband. But it didn't happen and I grieved that for the first few months of my 30s.

So, I finally got the courage to ask the Lord to take away that desire to be married because it hurt too much.  I felt I wasted wishing my life away for far too long. I believe the Lord did take that desire for a season... it was now time to live and enjoy life.   Marriage was not an option at that time.

Approaching the age of 40, most people dread, but I was looking forward to it.  It's a new era, a new season... being offered a membership, well a virtual membership to join the 40s club is always an honour (lol).  Turning 40 set me up to take on new adventures.   This time it is different.  I have grown up, seen a little more of life, visited a couple of countries, experienced some great and not so great moments in life.  That maturity and those experiences in life has prepared me for so much.

The last couple of years, the time has come where I have started to desire a family again, not 10 children though.  Those desires for a husband have now returned.  Dreams and visions of a wedding and seeing my future husband entering the room are all a part of preparing me for this journey and knowing that God is trully in this.  Life is good.  This time it is different from desiring my mate in the past.  I just know that God has the best timing for me and my future man, that He has it all worked out. I don't have to strive anymore.  I just need to continue getting myself ready and prepared the destiny he has already planned for my life.  No more worrying and being anxious for anything.

I am more focused in what I want in life, but most importantly what God's will is for my life.  There is nothing impossible for the One who can do the possible in all things.  He is continually directing me to walk on the right path that's set up for me, as I continue to make Him the centre of my life.  He is so good to me. 

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Toothache 2010

Back in March last year - this was what I wrote and experienced:

Interesting start to the week... since Sunday I have had a toothache that has slowly got more painful each hour and each day.  I have taken so many pills, nothing worked. Argh... no sleep and a terrible pain.  I needed to get something to help me sleep and the dentist was not available until the next day.  I didn't want to go through another night of waking up and feeling pain... lots of pain... like someone hooking your tooth pulling at it.

My face has now swelled on the left hand side of my face.  My eye is half closed and just touching my cheek sends me to the roof.  To smile or to laugh hurts.  Anything that requires me to use the muscle in my face is very painful.  I can't sleep on that side of my face.  All I want to do is sleep. It's not a pretty place to be in and just take stronger mediciation just to relieve the pain for temporary periods of time so I can sleep.  The strongest pain killer only lasts for a little under two hours at a time. Most of them just shade the pain, dulling it slightly without causing huge headaches.

I visited the dentist today.  He said he can't do anything until the swelling goes down and I have antibotics to fight the infection in my system.  Totally in tears now and feeling as if I can't keep going on like this.  The dentist did say that I needed to make a decision: root canal or extract the tooth.  Decisions had to be made.  At first I said root canal but still wasn't sure due to the success rate after such procedure, how long it lasted plus the huge cost to have it done.

Home again and more sleep, antibotics and more pain killers.

Once the swelling went down a little, I had a thought that I may need to extract the tooth... vanity took the better of me and I had to check in the mirror my tooth on the side of my mouth if this would affect my smile and if it could be seen when I smiled. 

A few days later, the swelling had decreased a little and time to go back to the dentist.  Now to find out which tooth is infected and which one was causing all that pain.  Not as easy to find when all the left side of my face was infected and swollen.

Once the tooth was found - I had a decision to be made:

1. a root canal surgery? a lot of money to pay for this (do have some savings in the bank) but no guarantee that the root canal will last or

2. extract the tooth? less money but no tooth, a hole for the tongue to play with later.  :) and will my smile show the hole where my tooth was?  I practiced smiling until I realised no, it is not that noticable.  I decided to get rid of the tooth.  Once I had made the decision and the dentist started to extract... I was thinking have I made the right decision?  it's too late now. arghh.

A few weeks later, the tooth cavity had healed up.  I have lived to tell, that I am alright and a lot better since then.  What an experience!!!

This happened over a few weeks, but it felt like months.  I do appreciate my teeth and my sleep for that matter.

Thanks for listening.

Beautified Home and Slimmer Me for 2011

It has been such a long time since I blogged anything. So much has happened since my last post in 2010. Where has 2011 gone? Anyway, firstly I have gained full-time employment til the end of October and all those renovations and jobs around my home are finally getting done.

Working over the last two years, with short contracts... I finally can save and start organising tradies to replace, repair and restore those jobs that will beautify my home. I am really excited.

 

I have lost a massive 15 kilograms and feel a lot better for. The journey of losing weight through winter had it's challenges but thanks to Lite N Easy, these meals made it so much easier. I feel lighter and more energtic.  Another 10kg to go and then I have reached my goal.

Beautified home and slimmer Me.... !!! :)