My thoughts on turning 40

In July 2011, I just turned the historical mark of 40.  Yes, 40 years on this earth.  Some years have progressed very quickly, other years just took forever, especially in my teenage years

I remember those times between the ages of 12 through to 17 years of age, I just wanted to grow up so quickly, but it took forever to do it.  I wanted everything instantly, I wanted certain things to happen yesterday. 

My desire for family and marriage started very early in life... with children... oh about 10.  I would cut out pictures of models from pamphlets and create a family that was absolutely perfect.  Being a part of a large family had always attracted me at a very early age.  My family only resulted in my parents, my sister and myself and it just didn't seem like enough.

Throughout my 20s, I dreamt of living a very full life but marriage seemed to be the answer to this.  I was so locked into thinking this would solve all my issues.  That perfect man would make it all so wonderful.

I looked forward to my 30 year mark... and felt it was a time for new beginnings and my prayers to find my ultimate soulmate would be answered, that the Lord would surely bless me with a husband. But it didn't happen and I grieved that for the first few months of my 30s.

So, I finally got the courage to ask the Lord to take away that desire to be married because it hurt too much.  I felt I wasted wishing my life away for far too long. I believe the Lord did take that desire for a season... it was now time to live and enjoy life.   Marriage was not an option at that time.

Approaching the age of 40, most people dread, but I was looking forward to it.  It's a new era, a new season... being offered a membership, well a virtual membership to join the 40s club is always an honour (lol).  Turning 40 set me up to take on new adventures.   This time it is different.  I have grown up, seen a little more of life, visited a couple of countries, experienced some great and not so great moments in life.  That maturity and those experiences in life has prepared me for so much.

The last couple of years, the time has come where I have started to desire a family again, not 10 children though.  Those desires for a husband have now returned.  Dreams and visions of a wedding and seeing my future husband entering the room are all a part of preparing me for this journey and knowing that God is trully in this.  Life is good.  This time it is different from desiring my mate in the past.  I just know that God has the best timing for me and my future man, that He has it all worked out. I don't have to strive anymore.  I just need to continue getting myself ready and prepared the destiny he has already planned for my life.  No more worrying and being anxious for anything.

I am more focused in what I want in life, but most importantly what God's will is for my life.  There is nothing impossible for the One who can do the possible in all things.  He is continually directing me to walk on the right path that's set up for me, as I continue to make Him the centre of my life.  He is so good to me. 

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."